Kirby's Dreamland: The Musical
by Sailor Taichichi Vegeta
Summary: The happy play of Dreamlanders is interrupted by the bad news that King Dedede has stolen all of the food! One brave soul undertakes a quest in the name of snack time. It's the plot of Kirby's Dreamland, with music added. And all original songs, too.
1. Introduction and Cast List

Hoshi no Kirby's Dreamland 

(A crazed fanmade musical)

Author's Note: What the heck is this, you ask? Simple, it's a musical about the events that take place in Kirby's Dreamland. (That's why "Dreamland" is in the title, to avoid confusion with the anime.) Personified Kirby Opera, pretty much. Yes, the characters everyone knows so well are now some people in (hopefully) nice costumes singing on a stage, so you'll kind of have to use your imagination to make things work out like we all remember in the games. I promise that none of the songs intend to rhyme just for rhyming's sake (remember, they'd be translated), and none of them will be sung to any game tunes, because the Kirby's Adventure OST already kicked butt with that and I cannot compare. (Oh, how I love this soundtrack.) Hopefully if the readers aren't irritated/disturbed/traumatized enough to execute me immediately, there will be a second musical. But why am I doing this? Well, I've reached a roadblock on the story I was currently working on, but still wanted to write something about Kirby… And I've been listening too much to the Kirby's Adventure OST and staring too long at the lyrics for the Sailor Moon musicals, one of which I would really like to see. And I fell on my head at age five running beside a pool and then followed that up coming into contact with a cave's low ceiling and have been careless getting out of cars the whole while. It's a miracle I'm still sane.

…at least I think I still am.

The Cast

Ozawa Masako as Kirby

Hayashibara Shinji as Poppy Bros. Senior

Sakamoto Hataro as Whispy Woods

Iwata Izumi as Lololo

Takahashi Kaguya as Lalala

Nakajima Hikaru as Kaboola

Kikuchi Seiko as Chibi Kracko

Tsukiyama Sai as Kracko

Miyamoto Rui as Great King Dedede

Random Dreamlanders who are too numerous to have their names specified

Random Baddies who are too numerous to have their names specified

(These are NOT real people, just some folks I made up to make it look more like a musical… well, except for one, you figure out who that is and when you do please don't shoot me. I decided to follow the somewhat time-honored tradition of having a female actor for some younger-sounding/higher-pitched male characters... or what I thought would work better in that case anyhow. And I know we all wish it could happen, but Oomoto Makiko would probably not want to star in a crazed fan musical, which is why somebody else is Kirby and not her. Sorry, folks, there's a downside to being an all-rabid-fan-production.)


	2. Act I

Act I

Scene 1 –A peaceful field

(_An overture begins to play, a variation of the Green Greens theme. The curtain rises on a peaceful field, bright with sun and flowers. Enter Dreamlanders, with Kirby in the lead. Kirby, the hero/ine of this story, is a happy youngster with rather messy pink hair and a cheerful voice, which she raises in song with her friends as they play together._)

(Song: The Dreamlander's Routine)

Dreamlander 1: We're a quite dependable bunch

Every day you can depend on us to do what we know best

And oh, how we know it!

Dreamlander 2: As soon as the sun greets us each morning

It's straight to our duties

But no complaints

Kirby: First, savor the fading of your great dream

Then you've got to have breakfast, for what can you do without nourishment?

Make sure that it's a big one

And then straight out to play with your friends!

All: That's how the Dreamlanders live

Eat, sleep, play as long as there's daylight

That's how life is for us

And who are we to argue with tradition?

Dreamlander 3: It's a beautiful way of life, the Dreamlander's routine

They say some things are meant to be

I know that this is one of them

Dreamlander 4: Nobody ever enjoyed his job more than we do

We're the most fortunate residents of Popstar

And we live in paradise!

Kirby: If you have to stop playing it's because you need a nap and a snack

Then after that, you have to play some more

Do your duty well and have a meal

And then it's off to sleep!

All: That's how the Dreamlanders live

Eat, sleep, play as long as there's daylight

That's how life is for us

And who are we to argue with tradition?

(The Dreamlanders keep on playing. Some, including Kirby, chase each other as the rest do cartwheels and play pattycake. As each one tries to make another "it," they shout out-)

Dreamlander 1: Eat!

Dreamlander 2: Sleep!

Dreamlander 3: Play!

Dreamlander 4: Do it over!

Kirby: I don't mind a bit.

All: Neither do I!

That's how the Dreamlanders live

Eat, sleep, play as long as there's daylight

That's how life is for us

And who are we to argue with tradition?

That's how the Dreamlanders live

Eat, sleep, play as long as there's daylight

That's how life is for us

And who are we to argue with tradition?

(End of song, yay.)

(_The Dreamlanders continue their play when another one arrives, breathing hard and looking worried_.)

Worried Dreamlander: Everyone! I have bad news!

Kirby: What's wrong?

Worried Dreamlander: It's Great King Dedede!

Dreamlander 5: Is he all right?

Worried Dreamlander: He's fine, but we won't be! He's taken all of our food!

All: Whaaaat?

Worried Dreamlander: It's true. There's not one crumb of cake or bite of apple left.

Dreamlanders: (_ad-lib_) Oh no! That's awful! How could he? I'm hungry already! That bum! What will we do?

Kirby: I know what to do. I'm going straight to his castle so I can get our food back.

Dreamlander 2: Good luck, Kirby.

All: Yeah, good luck! And be careful!

Kirby: Thanks, everyone. I promise to return soon with the food.

All: We know you will, Kirby!

(_Exeunt, Kirby to the right and everybody else to the left._)

Scene 2 –Green Greens

(The Green Greens theme is heard)

(_Enter Kirby and assorted minor villains. She proceeds to make her way through this grassy/woodsy area, fighting the baddies as she goes_.)

Kirby: That Dedede. What a thing to do! I bet that's why he's so chubby already. I can't wait to give him a piece of my mind!

(_After more fighting, Kirby takes hold of a golden star that has appeared and is instantly transported to another part of Green Greens. There's somebody waiting for her, however. Enter Poppy Brothers Senior, a guy with a wild grin and the infamous blue-and-white hat_.)

Kirby: Hi there, Poppy Brothers Senior.

Poppy Brothers Senior: Hi there, random Dreamlander. I'm afraid you can't go this way.

Kirby: But I'm on my way to see King Dedede.

Poppy Brothers Senior: And that's exactly why you can't go.

Kirby: But this is very important! I told my friends I'd get the food back from him!

Poppy Brothers Senior: And I told him that I'd stop any well-intentioned wanderers. Why don't you go home and save yourself the trouble?

Kirby: I don't give up that easily! I'll fight you if I have to!

Poppy Brothers Senior: Oh, you have to all right.

(_Poppy Brothers Senior starts throwing bombs at Kirby. Kirby dodges them, then_ _"inhales" the next one thrown at her –obviously, human actors can't inhale the same way, so bear with me and accept that she more like grabs it in her fist as she draws in air –and sends it speeding back towards its source. It's over quite soon.)_

Kirby: Figures I'd run into some tougher opposition after a while. Shame on you and shame on Dedede.

(Song: Rogues)

Great King Dedede, calling himself the ruler of Dreamland

Who died and made him king? Nobody knows or seems to care until now

He's not even a Dreamlander, for Dreamlanders have no beaks or feathers

But he's never really bothered anyone until now

The Cappies will hurl their hats at you

The Waddle Dees are cute but can't be ignored

Poppy Brothers take pleasure in causing you pain

But there's none like Great King Dedede

(Kirby continues to fight her way through Green Greens, picking up a tomato.)

The Bronto Burts annoy and hurt as well

The Waddle Doos are accurate in their fire, so watch out!

To touch a Togezo teaches trouble

But there's none like Great King Dedede

(End song, yay)

(_Enter Whispy Woods, a tall, seemingly ageless being with green hair. Kirby doesn't see him in her hurry to kick baddy butt and find the King until she bumps into him._)

Kirby: Oh no! Please excuse me.

Whispy Woods: What are you doing here, little Dreamlander?

Kirby: I'm going to see King Dedede.

Whispy Woods: Oh, no you're not.

Kirby: Don't tell me you're going to try and stop me too!

Whispy Woods: I will if you don't leave now.

Kirby: Okay, then!

(_And so they fight. I'm too lazy to think up an image song for Whispy right now, so we'll just have some stepped-up instrumental version of "Rogues" as he hurls apples and tries to down Kirby with his mighty breath. And just so you know, that was intended to be a bad breath joke._)

Kirby: (_Dodges the dragon breath_) Ack!

Whispy Woods: Are you ready to give up?

Kirby: I already said once today that I don't give up!

(_Kirby "inhales" the next apple(s) like in the fight with Poppy Brothers Senior, and she fires back at Whispy, putting him out of commission._)

Whispy Woods: Aaaaargh! You've defeated me!

Kirby: Whatever it takes. Now let me use the Warpstar out of this area!

(_Another golden star appears, and Kirby takes hold of it. Exeunt._)


	3. Act II

Act II –Castle Lololo

(The Castle Lololo theme is heard)

(_Enter Kirby. She begins to explore the huge building_.)

Kirby: I thought I could take a shortcut by going through here instead of around… but I could be wrong. There are so many doors here.

(_She enters one and finds-_)

Kirby: Aaaaah! Mumbies!

(_Backing out of the doorway, Kirby comes into contact with what appears to be a mask with a calm face etched into it. As she touches it, however, the mask's expression becomes a maniacal one, and it starts to bounce off the walls and into Kirby, exploding as it hits. More Mumbies appear, and she bumps into a couple of invincible Gordos in her haste._)

Kirby: This place is CRAWLING with baddies of the worst type! Waaaaah!

(_Kirby leaves off exploring and just runs down one hallway as fast as she can go until the stubborn undead quit chasing her. Catching her breath, she goes into the next room.)_

Kirby: Oh, wow! There's food here.

_(She eats the plate of curry she just saw and immediately starts to fan her mouth, her eyes streaming tears.)_

Kirby: Aaaaargh! It's spicy! And I don't have any water! 

_(Kirby turns into another room, but instead of water there is a multitude of baddies waiting for her, including more of the dreaded Mumbies.)_

Kirby: AAAAAAAH!

(Song: A Painful Snack)

(_Spoken_) Oh, this is not good. This is not good at all.

I'm heating up!

I'm really heating up!

Hunger has overriden caution

And now I'm hot! So hot!

Hot hot hot hot hot!

(She manages to push her way through the group of baddies, taking a bit of damage as she does but only slowing for a second or two.)

They're still chasing me!

They're quite persistent and still chasing me!

I'd better not let them catch me

Because that would be bad! Very bad!

Bad bad bad bad bad!

(Still going, she enters the next room only to find it full of spikey, invincible Gordos. Of course she's got to move around them while the baddies keep chasing her.)

(_Spoken_) Could it be that it just isn't my day?

(Any and all movement immediately ceases. So does the music.)

(_Spoken_) No way!

(Now she's running full-tilt through the castle, occasionally stopping to breathe fire on the persistent undead.)

I'm in trouble

I'm currently in a lot of trouble

I want to cool down but I can't stop at all

And so I'm hot!

Hot hot hot hot

Hot hot hot hot

Hot hot hot hot hot!

So hot!

(End song, yay)

_(Kirby finally escapes for good, taking huge gasps of air both from the running and in an attempt to cool her poor mouth. Enter Lololo and Lalala, standing above Kirby's head on ledges that lead to several doors; each is carrying a box. Being twins, of course they look alike, other than the fact that one is clad in blue while the other wears pink and a yellow bow, but are also as closely mentally linked to one another as is possible. They always speak –but not sing –in unison._)

Kirby: Er, hello there. I don't mean to interrupt anything important, it's just that this castle is jam-packed with Mumbies and Gordos, and somebody could seriously get hurt. In fact, I almost did. Do you know where I can find the owner-

(_She is cut off as two boxes slam into her._)

Lololo, Lalala: We are the owners.

Kirby: (_Recovering_) Well, I'll just leave and walk around the castle then…

Lololo, Lalala: You must not be allowed to interfere with Great King Dedede.

Kirby: Even if he's going to starve me and my friends out? And everyone else?

Lololo, Lalala: You're quite unwelcome here, Dreamlander.

(_Lololo and Lalala disappear into two of the doors and reappear a second later with two more boxes, which they throw at Kirby. She manages to dodge these, but it doesn't mean a thing as they go back for more_.)

(Song: Gemini Palace)

Lololo: Someone entering our castle without permission

And on a fool's errand –brave, but unwise

Lalala: Our "welcome" gift to uninvited guests

Is a face full of packing materials!

(Two boxes are hurled; Kirby dodges one and is hit by the other as she jumps up to one of the ledges in the room.)

Kirby: This sure isn't the right way to treat visitors!

But I should've seen this coming and I know what to do

All: Isn't it strange? A person multiplied by a person

Always together and always apart, in a castle filled with danger

Today we battle the math problem:

Three combatants, two viewpoints, one victory

(Kirby manages to send a box flying back at each of the twins.)

Lololo: It's good to have someone with you

Together you talk, work, think, fight

Lalala: Together we fight you –don't complain about two against one

Because you should've asked for permission to come in!

(From different ledges this time, more boxes come at Kirby.)

Kirby: This sure isn't the right way to treat visitors!

But I should've seen this coming and I know what to do

All: Isn't it strange? A person multiplied by a person

Always together and always apart, in a castle filled with danger

Today we've got a math problem on our hands:

Three combatants, two viewpoints, one victory

(More boxes, more dodging, more hitting. Eventually Kirby drives the twins off.)

Lololo: Isn't it strange? A person multiplied by a person

Always together and always apart, in a castle filled with danger

Lalala: Today we battle the math problem:

Lololo: Three combatants-

Lalala: Two viewpoints-

Both: One escape! We'll see you again, Dreamlander!

(_Exit Lololo and Lalala_.)

(End song, yay)

Kirby: That wasn't a pleasant fight at all. I'm not looking forward to seeing them again.

(_Kirby looks around the castle some more, and finds tomatoes to eat and Mumbies to run from in the process, an instrumental version of the twins' image song playing all the while. Eventually she reaches the roof_.)

Kirby: What a great view. I think I can see my house from here!

(_That reminds her of why she left home in the first place, and she turns toward the final door in the castle. Enter Lololo and Lalala, with a vengeance and twice as many doors this time_.)

(Song: Gemini Palace Reprise)

(_And the song is the same and the fighting techniques are the same, so no more details here. Just know that Kirby eventually wins. Exit Lololo and Lalala... or they pass out, whichever._)

Kirby: Isn't it strange? A person multiplied by a person

Always together and always apart, in a castle filled with danger

Today we've got a math problem on our hands:

Three combatants, two viewpoints,

And one Dreamlander off to find the King again.

(End song, yay)

(_Kirby takes hold of the Warpstar that has appeared. Exit Kirby_.)


	4. Act III

Act III

Scene 1 –The Float Islands

(The Float Islands theme is heard)

(_Enter Kirby. She looks longingly at all the fish swimming around and rubs her stomach, wishing she were back with her friends at the pond._)

Kirby: I should hurry up and get to King Dedede… Ouch!

(_A coconut has fallen from a nearby palm tree and conked Kirby on the head… and adding injury to insult, it's an exploding coconut. Kirby's in a daze for a couple of seconds_.)

Kirby: …yeah, I should REALLY hurry.

(_And so hungry Kirby hurries up, which is rather fortunate because Squishies are beginning to emerge from the water in hopes of hitting her. Ahead she spots a pirate ship, and what should she find upon boarding?_)

Kirby: FOOD!

(_The greatest treasure of all to a hungry Dreamlander. This particular item of food is a sweet potato, and as soon as Kirby wolfs it down she feels a little strange… She begins to shoot a constant barrage of air puffs –with human actors, this might be done with her hands and it might not –which nevertheless proves quite handy, since there is a large crew of Squishies and Waddle Doos waiting for her._)

(Cue the Sweet Potato theme!)

Kirby: I definitely needed that snack. It's really my turn to play Whispy Woods today!

(_True to her words, Kirby uses her breath to K.O. everything in sight. She's kind of said when the potato's effects wear off as she leaves the ship_.)

(End of Sweet Potato theme, not yay)

Kirby: I wonder what else I'll eat today that'll help me? I'm not particularly fond of Squishy. Ack! Shotzo neither!

(_Kirby just manages to dodge a cannonball from… well, a cannon. There's a profusion of them in this area, and so Kirby decides to float a safe height above them as she goes on her way. Eventually her floating takes her into the clouds_.)

Kirby: Wow, I didn't know I was flying this high… But what's this? This is good.

(_It's another Sweet Potato, resting comfortably between two pillars with fluffy white clouds for a plate. Kirby happily takes it and begins to munch when another cannonball grazes her arm._)

Kirby: Ah! Where-

(_Enter Kaboola the lavender-haired gunslinger. A black patch hides one of her eyes, and one hand is currently busy helping to balance a gigantic Shotzo-esque bazooka on one shoulder_.)

Kaboola: Oh look, somebody's left his little plush toy here.

Kirby: I'm not a plush.

Kaboola: I know that! What do you want?

Kirby: I really don't want anything. I'm just passing through.

Kaboola: Passing through, eh? Where to, pink one?

Kirby: I'd really rather not say because it just keeps bringing me trouble…

Kaboola: Oh no, trouble! We simply can't have that, now can we? Tell you what, kid. You can stay here with me.

Kirby: Really? Because I kind of need to hurry…

Kaboola: Oh yes, really. Because _I_ kind of need some target practice!

(_Kaboola proceeds to start firing at Kirby with that huge gun of hers. Kirby yelps as she does her best to dodge the fire, then fights back with the Sweet Potato, which hasn't yet worn off. And because of that and the popularity its theme enjoys, no image song here. Sorry, folks_.)

Kaboola: You haven't given up and run home yet? I'm surprised.

(_She begins to fly away from Kirby, but still faces her as she continues to shoot. Kirby gives chase_.)

Kirby: Hey, this fight's not over!

(_They exchange fire and both take damage. Kaboola flies in close to Kirby, who jumps back in midair and watches, confused for a moment as her opponent begins to fly in odd patterns_.)

Kirby: Wh-what are you doing?

Kaboola: What are _you_ doing talking to thin air?

(_Kirby turns around to find Kaboola right behind her. The latter grins and winks before nailing Kirby full in the face_.)

Kirby: AAAAARGH! That's it!

(_Kirby, steaming mad and with good reason, starts to fire more air puffs than ever before. It's now Kaboola's turn to dodge, but it does no good as the angry young Dreamlander does enough damage to send her flying off towards the horizon. Just in time too, because the Sweet Potato has finally worn off_.)

(End song, not yay)

Kaboola: (_Swiftly fading_.) Next time I'm bringing both guns!

Kirby: If there is a next time.

(_She looks toward that spot for a moment longer, then exits with the Warpstar_.)

Scene 2 –Bubbly Clouds

(The Bubbly Clouds theme is heard)

(_Enter Kirby. She looks around in awe at the building set in the sky, wondering who built it, why, and other historical things like that_.)

Kirby: I sure hope I don't fall into any traps while I'm here. It'll be a long way down.

(_Kirby has slightly better luck exploring this place than Castle Lololo, for instead of hard-to-beat Mumbies there are blade-hurling Sir Kibbles. Just as painful, she learns, but easier to dispatch. Then she notices another being who doesn't move or do anything other than float and smile_.)

Kirby: Hey there, little fella! You're kind of cute.

(_He doesn't respond. Kirby goes over to him._)

Kirby: Are you lost?

(_She touches him; he immediately becomes a feral beast, snarling loudly as he chases her. Kirby screams in horrified surprise and strikes out at it, only to be caught in a small explosion_.)

Kirby: What was THAT? I didn't know something that cute could be so deceptively deadly… Oh, no.

(_Kirby has entered a room full of –you guessed it –more Scarfys! There are spikes in places on the floor and walls_.)

Kirby: (Nervously) Hello, everyone. I'm just passing through… Ah, what the heck.

(_Kirby mad-dashes through the horde of Scarfys. She dodges a particularly spikey part of the floor and sighs with relief, but she happens to be close to one of the Scarfys, and he goes after her. Kirby flies up towards the ceiling and heads for the exit, but can't shake him. She ducks under some spikes on the ceiling, and he collides with her. Kirby lands on her behind, right in front of the door_.)

Kirby: I suppose that's one way to do it…

(_She pokes her tongue out at the other Scarfys and goes through the new door, only to be greeted by more explosions. Enter Chibi Kracko, a youngish person with one eye concealed by white hair, flinging at LEAST as many bombs as Poppy Brothers Senior did and with the added benefit of flight_.)

Kirby: Oh crud.

Chibi Kracko: Heh, I'm surprised the Scarfys didn't get you.

Kirby: I had to dodge them and the spikes to get in here. Some welcome.

Chibi Kracko: Well, ya know you're always welcome to go right back out.

(_Chibi Kracko winks (her one visible eye, ha ha) and resumes hurling bombs at Kirby. Since she's airborne, Kirby decides to float as well –but it doesn't last long as her opponent slams into her, then adds more bombs as insult to injury_.)

Kirby: Aaargh…

Chibi Kracko: Yer in a no-flight zone, pal! –Oops.

(_While making her latest cocky declaration, Chibi Kracko accidentally drops a few bombs without detonating them. Kirby wastes no time in going for them and retaliates for all the verbal abuse_.)

Chibi Kracko: Aieee! You wouldn't hurt a kid, would you?

Kirby: Don't pull that.

(_Each side gets hit with more bombs, but Chibi Kracko, unnerved, continues to drop objects that Kirby takes advantage of. Finally, the airborne delinquent squeals in frustration and vanishes in one last explosion_.)

Kirby: I sure am glad that's over with. Please, don't let there be any Scarfys in the next room…

(_Luckily for Kirby, there aren't. She has reached the top of the building, and now she can see the columns on its roof stretching towards the stars. Unfortunately, some of them are falling on her, and there are more Sir Kibbles_.)

Kirby: Ouch! I sure could -ow -make a lot of –ow -wishes if I wasn't –ouch -being –ow –murdered here!

(_Kirby puts her hands over her head as if trying to fend off a rainstorm, and makes another mad-dash. Fortunately, she finds a covered area a few yards ahead, and can simply hear the stars instead of hearing them as she walks along, rubbing a spot on her head where the first star hit. She grabs a tomato from a room full of Gordos that she has to dodge, and when she get outside again there are no more falling stars. However, there is no more ground –or roof –to walk on either_.)

Kirby: I guess it's straight up from here, then.

(_Kirby begins to fly upward, dodging the occasional floating column and parasol-suspended villain. Soon, she reaches another small building hanging in the sky… but she flies past it, towards the moon instead_.)

Kirby: I've just got a feeling… Hooray!

(_Kirby flies through the moon and finds herself in a room filled with food. She eats her fill, then exits and finds herself in front of the entrance to the new building_.)

Kirby: This is probably the exit.

(_Kirby passes through the door and into a good-sized room. Enter Kracko, whose long white hair hangs down over one eye like that of her younger counterpart. Despite the hair color, she is ageless like Whispy Woods_.)

Kracko: I am surprised you've made it this far. Your fighting skills must be well-developed.

Kirby: I just fought somebody who looked like you… Are you two related? Who are you supposed to be?

(Song: Gyroscope Directions)

Summoning a group of violet clouds, I feel happy

Look, the sparks are coming down like rain

There is chain lightning inside my veins and I have to move

I would be grateful if you stayed out of the way

Was there something you wanted from me?

I can behave, I can be good all the time

But sometimes it's too much fun to set fires in the sky

Hello! Lightning's trajectory is every direction

Here's a jagged pale line to cut instantaneously

Do you want to know the truth? It'll be flying at you next

I'm your nemesis!

The road through the sky smoulders under my feet

My fingers spiraling, more sparks every minute

This is my oasis, the house of wind

Will you observe the book of the sky kingdom?

You're an investigator, a spy, to discover me so

I'll soon see how good you are

Be quick and flee the world of the violet sky

Or I'll watch you as you sleep forever and you won't like that

Was there something you wanted from me?

I can behave, I can be good all the time

But sometimes it's too much fun to set fires in the sky

Spinning! Another wheel of lightning

A flash, an explosion, and then nothing to see

Do you want to know the truth? It'll be flying at you next

I would be too glad to fight you!

Spinning! Another wheel of lightning

Here's a jagged pale line to cut instantaneously

Do you want to know the truth? It'll be flying at you next

I'm your nemesis!

(End song, yay... heavily influenced by Sailor Moon and/or Kozi)

Kirby: Well, then... do I still have to fight you?

Kracko: Young wanderer, my pride and my loyalty to Great King Dedede would not allow it to be otherwise. Your string of victories ends with me.

Kirby: Just my luck.

(_Kirby, remembering the fight with Chibi Kracko, backs away in anticipation of bombs but does not take to the air yet. However, her opponent does, and creates around herself... come on, people, guess! On another note, this would probably be a pain to do effectively on a live stage..._)

Kirby: A shield? With spikes? That isn't fair!

Kracko: (_Amused_) This isn't a shield... _Bang_.

(_She interlaces her fingers, with the thumbs and index fingers pointed outward as if imitating a gunman. As she does, bolts of electricity are fired from the "shield" in a manner suggesting a ring... with Kirby's current position as the target of the first bolt_.)

Kirby: (_Squeaks with pain_) You're going to electrocute me!

Kracko: Ah. Dreadfully sorry.

(_Kracko begins flinging bombs with twice the frequency of her younger counterpart. Kirby has a hard time dodging them and is hit several times before she notices something fall from the "shield." It's a Waddle Doo, which Kirby uses in the same manner as the bombs during fight with Poppy Brothers Senior_.)

Kirby: I think I know how to win this fight! Your shield is unstable!

Kracko: What did I tell you about the shield?

(_She flies directly at Kirby, catching her off guard and striking a good blow. The spikes don't help; nor does the repetition of the ring-like maneuver that occurs immediately afterward. Kirby, recovering from this latest hit, attempts to scramble away towards the other end of the room_.)

Kracko: Where are you going? You won't be able to get out of here unless I allow it.

Kirby: Do you want me to surrender?

Kracko: If surrender were your intention you would have done it already. You came here knowing you'd have to fight. Now finish what you've –eh?

(_At this point another Waddle Doo falls, cutting short the pre-victory speech and providing Kirby with the lucky break she's desperately needed. She rushes over to grab it and makes a direct hit, although Kracko subsequently nails her with a bomb_.)

Kirby: Aaaargh... I'm none too fond of the way this is going too far. Need idea...

(_Kirby drops flat to the floor and rolls out of the way of the next "ring." The tide has definitely turned in her favor, because she catches the next bomb thrown at her and sends it back at its owner. Said owner is finished_.)

Kirby: That was a pretty tough fight. I sure am glad it's over.

(_And she grabs the Warpstar. Exeunt_.)


	5. Act IV

Act IV

Scene 1 –Castle Dedede, Main Hall

(The Castle Dedede/King Dedede final fight music is heard.)

(_Enter Kirby on the Warpstar from Bubbly Clouds, knocking down part of a wall. She dismounts and looks around at the walls, which are covered in tasteless pictures of His Majesty_.)

Kirby: Great King Dedede! Where are you?

(_There's no answer. Kirby walks through halls that are empty –other than the pictures –until she comes to a set of doors that are different than the others she's passed. They're probably different because four of them bear very familiar pictures, while the fifth sports a replica of the tacky wall decorations. Of course, it's locked_.)

Kirby: Figures he'd do something like this... I guess I'll have to face his friends all over again.

(_She enters one of the doors; the stage becomes dark. One by one, four different areas of the stage are lit, each showing Kirby in a fight with one of the bosses she faced earlier. Then, we see her in front of the doors again. She puts her hand upon the fifth door, and it swings open slightly_.)

Kirby: He's got to be in here. This is it. I'm coming for you, Dedede!

(_Exit Kirby_.)

Scene 2 –Castle Dedede, "Inner Sanctum"

(_Enter Kirby. This place looks very much like a gigantic wrestling ring, and in the opposite corner is... Great King Dedede, of course! He's big, he's bad, and he wears the usual red coat 'n hat_.)

King Dedede: A Dreamlander? Here?

Kirby: ...Great King Dedede.

(Song: Property Rights Exchange)

King Dedede: I'm glad to have a visitor today!

You're very kind to come and see me

Kirby: I'm disgusted with you

You're very selfish to take advantage of everyone

King Dedede: I sense displeasure –is it my fault?

Is there something I can do to help solve your problem?

Kirby: Don't play innocent, King!

What have you done with all of our food?

King Dedede: Food is a delicious thing, isn't it?

Now I see what you're unhappy about

I suppose I can't help you after all

Since I'm the King, I can take what I want.

Are you going to try to take it back?

That wouldn't be a very good idea

I have power in one hand and cake in the other

And that's just how things are.

Kirby: How could I be anything but unhappy?

Kings should have their limits, too

King Dedede: Are you telling me how to rule my kingdom?

Go home and play some more, Dreamlander!

Kirby: If you're the king, show some responsibility!

Don't you care about the rest of the kingdom?

King Dedede: You shouldn't lecture, it's very boring

And no, I don't really care at the moment

Kirby: You're not fit to be in charge at all, you know

Not a king as much as a tyrant

Dictator, even? It's not too much of an exaggeration

And your rise to power is questionable too!

Power is something that can corrupt you

Have you figured that out yet? Probably not.

Here's something a true ruler would do:

Set an example and don't steal!

Both: I hadn't expected trouble from you today

I'll fight you for that food if I have to

Because you can't eat it all, though I know you'll try

And there's no way I'll let you have it!

I hadn't expected trouble from you today

I'll fight you for that food if I have to

Because you can't eat it all, though I know you'll try

And there's no way I'll let you have it!

(End song, yay)

King Dedede: You know, I didn't think anybody would actually try to come all the way here and stop me. I definitely didn't think anybody would make it past my servants.

Kirby: Well, I did. Now give back all the food you stole!

King Dedede: I'll do no such thing.

Kirby: Then fight me!

King Dedede: You stubborn Dreamlander.

(_King Dedede takes out his hammer and whacks Kirby good. The "final fight" music starts to play again_.)

King Dedede: I'll pound you to a pulp, then throw you in prison!

Kirby: Not if I have anything to say about it!

(_King Dedede swings the hammer again, but misses. Kirby catches one of the stars shaken loose by the blow and uses it to hit him_.)

King Dedede: I see you want to do this the hard way...

(_He leaps into the air; Kirby moves so that he won't fall on her, but the impact caused by his landing stuns her. King Dedede takes advantage of this and sends her flying into a wall_.)

King Dedede: Had enough yet, Dreamlander?

Kirby: What do you think?

(_The King brings out the hammer again; Kirby dodges to the left to escape a blow, then to the right. Another star appears and Kirby "spits" it at him. With an angry growl, King Dedede takes to the air again, landing just as hard as last time. However, Kirby is ready this time and jumps out of the way_.)

King Dedede: Hold still, you!

Kirby: Maybe some other time.

(_Kirby continues to dodge King Dedede's hammer, but then he feints to the right and slams the wood into her as she, having fallen for the trick, moves left. He then hits her again, knocking her off her feet. As he comes in closer to do more damage she trips him_.)

King Dedede: Now what makes you think you can get away with that?

Kirby: This!

(_Kirby reaches out for the star that appeared when King Dedede tripped, but it disappears too quickly for her to grab it_.)

King Dedede: So much for that bright idea, eh?

(_Kirby gulps and rolls out of the way of yet another potentially devastating hammer blow, then runs to the opposite side of the room like she did in the previous boss fight_.)

King Dedede: Come back here!

(_He leaps at her, but this time Kirby obtains two stars from his heavy landing and succeeds in damaging him with both. Unfortunately for her, he jumps again immediately afterward and lands on top of her_.)

Kirby: Aaaaargh!

King Dedede: You should have stayed at home with the rest of your brainless friends.

Kirby: Don't you insult my friends!

(_Kirby forgets the current fight "protocol" and slugs King Dedede hard. The King just stands there for a moment looking surprised, then hits back with the hammer. They go at it more furiously than ever_.)

King Dedede: (_Swinging frantically_) Give up and go home already!

Kirby: Not without our food!

(_Another star to the face, and King Dedede once again uses his jumping attack. He hits Kirby, but she manages to hang on to the newest star anyway, and strikes him with it_.)

Kirby: This is for the watermelon I was going to have for lunch before you spoiled everything!

(_Kirby winds up, and with one final hit sends King Dedede flying out of the window off into the distance. Slowly she lowers her fist, then lets out a whoop_.)

Kirby: I've done it! I've gotten everyone's food back!

(_Exit Kirby_.)

Scene 3 –A peaceful field

(_Enter Dreamlanders. Some are playing while many talk about their missing food and the chances of Kirby's success_.)

Dreamlander 3: I hope Kirby's doing all right.

Dreamlander 4: Well, you know that since Great King Dedede is so rich, he can afford the best bodyguards.

Dreamlander 1: You mean Kirby could be lying unconscious somewhere?

Dreamlander 4: I'm afraid it's very possible.

Dreamlander 5: I hope she isn't passed out inside of Castle Lololo. That place is haunted.

Dreamlander 2: Is it really?

Dreamlander 5: Of course! It's practically inviting ghouls, and there are stories...

Dreamlander 3: Don't talk like that! I believe in Kirby!

Dreamlander 6: Hey, what's that up there?

(_The Dreamlanders look up in the sky, to an object that resembles some sort of odd balloon..._)

Dreamlander 3: I don't know, but it's raining food!

(_Of course, it's all thanks to our hero/ine. She's placed all the stolen food into a huge sack, and she has been allowing it to empty out all over Dreamland, distributed as evenly as possible so everyone can enjoy tasty meals again_.)

Dreamlander 1: Wait a minute... Kirby's up there! Kirby's saved our food!

Dreamlander 2: She really did it!

Dreamlander 6: Thank you, Kirby!

(_The Dreamlanders begin to cheer like mad. Kirby lands and grins sheepishly at her friends, as if to say "It was nothing."_)

Kirby: Aw guys, it was nothing.

Dreamlander 3: No, that was better than nothing! Now we can all have our snack time!

Kirby: Well, that's definitely something I can cheer for.

(Song: A Delicious Victory)

Dreamlander 1: You did it, Kirby! You got the food back!

We were all cheering you on

Dreamlander 2: That's right, even though you couldn't hear us

We were with you in spirit, buddy!

Kirby: No need to make such a fuss, everyone

I did what I had to, and any one of you would've done the same

Dreamlander 3: It was an amazing thing you did

All by yourself on such a journey

Dreamlander 4: Through a haunted castle, even!

So now the agenda is "eat, sleep, play, adventure."

Kirby: Well, it was kind of a fun thing to do

And we would all be very hungry soon if I hadn't gone

Dreamlander 5: Great King Dedede's bodyguards all were defeated!

And you –well, not defeated!

Dreamlander 6: And the King's quite a fighter

But you took him down too!

Kirby: I did it for all of us

All of us, and the tomatoes and the carrots and the lemonade and the cake!

All: Kirby's back and so is our food!

We're going to have a picnic with the hero of the day!

Everyone's happy now, so let's have all the treats!

Hurrah for Kirby and hurrah for Dreamland!

(End song, yay)

Dreamlander 6: Come on, Kirby! We have to grab some food before the others eat it all!

Kirby: I hear you. Do you know what this whole experience has done for me?

Dreamlander 6: What has it done?

Kirby: It's given me one heck of an appetite, that's what!

(_They laugh. Exeunt_.)

More Author's Notes:

Holy crud! That was a fun thing to do, but it was sorta kinda time-consuming. Writing songs is harder than it looks, let me tell ya. Fortunately these were the kind that didn't have to rhyme, otherwise this might have taken three times as long to complete.

Concerning Kirby's abilities: Thankfully there was no copying to worry about writing in here, but if I ever decide to tackle Kirby's Adventure... Obviously a human actress can't inhale the way Kirby can, so she will just have to pretend with her hands.

Concerning boss characters: For some reason I didn't feel like writing a song for Whispy Woods. The Sweet Potato Theme saved my lazy butt from writing for Kaboola, too. Speaking of her: the hair color. To me, her character personified seemed likely to hail from the pirate-packed pwnage that is One Piece. That hugely exaggerated weapon perched casually on her shoulder, even the name to an extent. Of course, I had to add an oddball One Piece-y villain-ish touch, and that would be the seemingly out-of-nowhere lavender hair. I have to draw a picture someday. Lololo and Lalala speak in unison because... well, they're twins. If their time onstage seems short, it's because I died fighting them so often that the fights started to become repetitive after a while. Yes, all the fights are more or less repetitive, but... moving on. Chibi Kracko was a brat, nothing more to say about that. "Adult" Kracko... my perception of how that character should be as a human onstage was mature and dignified, but at the same time allowing us to see who grows up and becomes who, what with the sadistic streak and the somewhat immaturity in the song compared with her younger counterpart's cocky _and_ sadistic streak. (Am I confusing people?) For some reason, I thought this would work better with a female actor. As for her song, I was listening to too much Sailor Moon and Kozi at the time and that's why it came out the way it did. Poppy Brothers Senior and King Dedede are the most straightforward –they come, fight, and fight hard. Well, King Dedede fought hard anyhow...

Concerning the Dreamlanders: Dreamlanders (some folks call 'em Kirbys) eat, sleep and play. They strike me as pretty kiddy people, and so they're happy and playful like kids are.

Concerning Kirby slugging King Dedede in the final fight: I just thought that would be a different, wacky thing to add, with Dedede too stunned to do anything for the moment.

Concerning the sack of food: I've already stretched things with the use-one's-hands-for-the-air-puff deal, so I figured it would be better to have Kirby's actress carrying a sack instead of the whole of Castle Dedede.

Concerning the lack of decent spacing: If you wanna see the paragraphs and everything the waythey should be, come to the Kirby's Rainbow Resort forums and head to the Kirby Cafe.

And that's the end!


End file.
